How Do I Care for Myself as a New Mom?

Becoming a new mother brings so many physical and emotional changes — one moment you’re only responsible for yourself, and the next, you have a new little person to take care of. It’s easy for new birth parents who are focused on caring for their newborn baby to lose sight of taking care of themselves. But the postpartum period involves you, your partner, your family and others in your community learning how to care for your newborn.

We talked to Dr. Navya Mysore, a primary care physician, women’s health expert, and the Medical Director for Women's Health at Nurx from Thirty Madison, to get a better sense of how new moms can prioritize their mental and physical health while caring for their newborns. Click here for our interview with Dr. Mysore on postpartum anxiety, finding community with other new moms, how little sleep is too little, and more. 

Take Care: How much postpartum anxiety is normal? When does it cross the line into something you should talk to a doctor about?

Dr. Mysore: Postpartum blues are generally quite normal in the first two to four weeks after birth — there are so many different life changes, and your mood can vary based on how much support you have, how much sleep you’re getting, and other factors. Around that four week mark, if your mood isn’t improving, it’s important to talk to your primary care doctor to understand if there’s an underlying mood issue going on.

When it comes to postpartum anxiety, I would start talking to your doctor when your anxiety begins disrupting your day-to-day life. If you’re spiraling, if you’re constantly ruminating on the same thought, if you find yourself checking on your baby over and over while they’re sleeping — these could all be signs you should talk to your doctor. Instead of assuming your level of worry is normal and will get better with time, don’t be afraid to talk to your OB-GYN, your pediatrician, or your primary care doctor to get the support you need.

What postpartum symptoms tend to take new mothers by surprise?

Right after delivery, you experience a significant dropoff of hormones, estrogen and progesterone, which can cause postpartum symptoms. Some symptoms are more common, like vaginal bleeding. The bleeding is heavier in the beginning, and tends to turn into lighter bleeding and spotting over time. 

Breast milk generally comes in during the 48 to 72-hour period after you deliver, though sometimes it can happen sooner or later. This can leave your breast tissue feeling engorged, inflamed, and painful. I recommend seeing a lactation consultant as it can be really helpful to understand the basics of breastfeeding.

After you deliver, your internal organs suddenly have more space, and that coupled with the hormonal changes can affect your digestive system. Some women experience diarrhea, constipation, reflux, increased gas or feeling bloated. 

You may experience night sweats between four and six weeks postpartum. You may also experience muscle aches and joint pain. After birth when your estrogen and progesterone levels drop, so do your levels of relaxin, a hormone that loosens the muscles, joints and ligaments in the pelvis, and this can lead you to feel muscle aches and joint pain. 

How little sleep for new moms is an unsafe amount of sleep, if such a thing exists?

Look out for the signs of sleep deprivation. If you find that you're worried about your infant’s safety during the day because you're falling asleep, or because you're so tired you can't keep your eyes open, that means you are too sleep deprived and should be warning signs that you need to catch up on some sleep. Make sure you have a partner, family member, babysitter or friend you can call on and hand off the baby to regularly make sure you can get some sleep.

What small exercises can be beneficial before the traditional six-week checkup clearance, if any?

If you want to get started on small exercises before that six-week mark, slow, gentle walks outside are generally fine, but I would make sure you get guidance from your doctor to know what would be good for you specifically.

Diaphragmatic breathing — reconnecting your breath with your pelvic floor — is important. The first week after delivery, start by taking full, deep breaths. Put your hands on the sides of your diaphragm, and then exhale out and try to imagine you’re picking up a tissue with your pelvic floor. You will not be able to feel it initially, because of that disconnect. But over time as your body heals, you’ll start to feel that connection again.

How do you know when to seek treatment from a pelvic floor physical therapist?

I'm always a big proponent of pelvic floor physical therapy in the postpartum period. If you find later on in your postpartum period — three, six months after delivery — that when you laugh, cough or run again that you urinate a bit, or you experience painful sex, those are all reasons to see a pelvic floor therapist. But in general, if you're not sure, that’s also a good reason to get a full assessment with a pelvic floor therapist and see where you're at.

Being a new mom can be isolating. How should new moms seek community?

I was the first in my group of friends to have a baby, and I found myself feeling isolated. A yoga studio near me had a postpartum support group where we’d meet and talk about different topics weekly — like breastfeeding, your delivery, sleep, your identity post-baby, and returning to work. All of a sudden, I didn’t feel so alone. I made mom friends in the group, and we’d go for walks. 

Use Facebook to find groups for new moms. You can find meetups to go to when you’re still pregnant, so you already have a set-up community support group for when you have your baby.

Don’t be afraid to ask your friends for help, or modify the time you spend together — instead of going out for dinner, ask if they want to come over to watch a movie and order takeout. I encourage friends and family of postpartum parents to offer help. Ask: “What can I do that will be helpful for you? Can I bring over food? Can I watch the baby while you go for a walk?” 

As a birth parent, you need time to heal. We underestimate how much time that actually takes, and we need to be clear about it.

Questions about women’s health? You can email Dr. Mysore at [email protected].